Once upon a time there was a predatory boy called Chad Wilson. He was on the way to see his Luke Blacksmith, when he decided to take a short cut through Greenton Woods.
It wasn’t long before Chad got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favorite toy, Donkey, but Donkey was nowhere to be found! Chad began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Donkey. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a scruffy pigeon dressed in a green t-shirt disappearing into the trees.
“How odd!” thought Chad.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed pigeon. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Chad reached a clearing. In the clearing were two houses, one made from cucumbers and one made from chocolates.
Chad could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
“Hello!” he called. “Is anybody there?”
Nobody replied.
Chad looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else’s chimney. Obviously, it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Chad a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Donkey!
“Donkey!” shouted Chad. He turned to the witch. “That’s my toy!”
The witch just shrugged.
“Give Donkey back!” cried Chad.
“Not on your nelly!” said the witch.
“At least let Donkey out of that cage!”
Before she could reply, the scruffy pigeon in the green t-shirt rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the cleaning.
“Hello Big Pigeon,” said the witch.
“Good morning.” The pigeon noticed Donkey. “Who is this?”
“That’s Donkey,” explained the witch.
“Ooh! Donkey would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!” demanded the pigeon.
The witch shook her head. “Donkey is staying with me.”
“Um… Excuse me…” Chad interrupted. “Donkey lives with me! And not in a cage!”
Big Pigeon ignored him. “Is there nothing you’ll trade?” he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, “I do like to be entertained. I’ll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door.”
Big Pigeon looked at the house made from chocolates and said, “No problem, I could eat an entire house made from chocolates if I wanted to.”
“There’s no need to show off,” said the witch. Just eat one front door and I’ll let you have Donkey.”
Chad watched, feeling very worried. He didn’t want the witch to give Donkey to Big Pigeon. He didn’t think Donkey would like living with a scruffy pigeon, away from his house and all his other toys.
Big Pigeon put on his bib and withdraw a knife and fork from his pocket.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Big Pigeon. “Just you watch!”
Big Pigeon pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Pigeon started to get bigger – just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of chocolates, he grew to the size of a large snowball – and he was every bit as round.
“Erm… I don’t feel too good,” said Big Pigeon.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He’d grown so round that he could no longer balance!
“Help!” he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Pigeon never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Donkey remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
“That’s it,” said the witch. “I win. I get to keep Donkey.”
“Not so fast,” said Chad. “There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from cucumbers. And I haven’t had a turn yet.
“I don’t have to give you a turn!” laughed the witch. “My game. My rules.”
The woodcutter’s voice carried through the forest. “I think you should give him a chance. It’s only fair.”
“Fine,” said the witch. “But you saw what happened to the pigeon. He won’t last long.”
“I’ll be right back,” said Chad.
“What?” said the witch. “Where’s your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Donkey back.”
Chad ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from cucumbers and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Chad sat down on a nearby log.
“You fail!” cackled the witch. “You were supposed to eat the whole door.”
“I haven’t finished,” explained Chad. “I am just waiting for my food to go down.”
When Chad’s food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from cucumbers. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Chad was down to the final piece of the door made from cucumbers. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Chad had eaten the entire front door of the house made from cucumbers.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. “You must have tricked me!” she said. “I don’t reward cheating!”
“I don’t think so!” said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. “This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Donkey or I will chop your broomstick in half.”
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Chad hurried over and grabbed Donkey, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Donkey was unharmed.
Chad thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Luke. It was starting to get dark.
When Chad got to Luke’s house, his threw his arms around him.
“I was so worried!” cried Luke. “You are very late.”
As Chad described his day, he could tell that Luke didn’t believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
“What’s that?” asked Luke.
Chad unwrapped a doorknob made from chocolates. “Pudding!” he said.
Luke almost fell off his chair.
The End