Once upon a time there was a cute girl called Maud Noris. She was on the way to see her Phillip Clifford, when she decided to take a short cut through Hyde Park.
It wasn’t long before Maud got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favorite toy, Dolly, but Dolly was nowhere to be found! Maud began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Dolly. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a wicked maggot dressed in a pink jumper disappearing into the trees.
“How odd!” thought Maud.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed maggot. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Maud reached a clearing. In the clearing were three houses, one made from sweet potatoes, one made from lollipops and one made from macarons.
Maud could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
“Hello!” she called. “Is anybody there?”
Nobody replied.
Maud looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else’s chimney. Obviously, it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Maud a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Dolly!
“Dolly!” shouted Maud. She turned to the witch. “That’s my toy!”
The witch just shrugged.
“Give Dolly back!” cried Maud.
“Not on your nelly!” said the witch.
“At least let Dolly out of that cage!”
Before she could reply, two wicked maggots rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Maud recognized the one in the pink jumper that she’d seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
“Hello Big Maggot,” said the witch.
“Good morning.” The maggot noticed Dolly. “Who is this?”
“That’s Dolly,” explained the witch.
“Ooh! Dolly would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!” demanded the maggot.
The witch shook her head. “Dolly is staying with me.”
“Um… Excuse me…” Maud interrupted. “Dolly lives with me! And not in a cage!”
Big Maggot ignored her. “Is there nothing you’ll trade?” he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, “I do like to be entertained. I’ll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door.”
Big Maggot looked at the house made from macarons and said, “No problem, I could eat an entire house made from macarons if I wanted to.”
“That’s nothing,” said the next maggot. “I could eat two houses.”
“There’s no need to show off,” said the witch. Just eat one front door and I’ll let you have Dolly.”
Maud watched, feeling very worried. She didn’t want the witch to give Dolly to Big Maggot. She didn’t think Dolly would like living with a wicked maggot, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other one maggot watched while Big Maggot put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Big Maggot. “Just you watch!”
Big Maggot pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Maggot started to get bigger – just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-falls of lollipops, he grew to the size of a large snowball – and he was every bit as round.
“Erm… I don’t feel too good,” said Big Maggot.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He’d grown so round that he could no longer balance!
“Help!” he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Maggot never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Dolly remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Average Maggot stepped up, and approached the house made from macarons.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Average Maggot. “Just you watch!”
Average Maggot pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from macarons. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Maggot started to look a little queasy. She grew greener…
…and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. “What’s this bush doing here?” he asked.
“I’m not a bush, I’m a maggot!” said Average Maggot.
“It talks!” exclaimed the woodcutter. “Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I’d better take it away before somebody gets hurt.”
“No! Wait!” cried Average Maggot, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the maggot away under his arm.
Average Maggot never finished eating the front door made from macarons and Dolly remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
“That’s it,” said the witch. “I win. I get to keep Dolly.”
“Not so fast,” said Maud. “There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from sweet potatoes. And I haven’t had a turn yet.
“I don’t have to give you a turn!” laughed the witch. “My game. My rules.”
The woodcutter’s voice carried through the forest. “I think you should give her a chance. It’s only fair.”
“Fine,” said the witch. “But you saw what happened to the maggots. She won’t last long.”
“I’ll be right back,” said Maud.
“What?” said the witch. “Where’s your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Dolly back.”
Maud ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from sweet potatoes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
Maud sat down on a nearby log.
“You fail!” cackled the witch. “You were supposed to eat the whole door.”
“I haven’t finished,” explained Maud. “I am just waiting for my food to go down.”
When Maud’s food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Maud was down to the final piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Maud had eaten the entire front door of the house made from sweet potatoes.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. “You must have tricked me!” she said. “I don’t reward cheating!”
“I don’t think so!” said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. “This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Dolly or I will chop your broomstick in half.”
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Maud hurried over and grabbed Dolly, checking that her favorite toy was all right. Fortunately, Dolly was unharmed.
Maud thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Phillip. It was starting to get dark.
When Maud got to Phillip’s house, her threw his arms around her.
“I was so worried!” cried Phillip. “You are very late.”
As Maud described her day, she could tell that Phillip didn’t believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
“What’s that?” asked Phillip.
Maud unwrapped a doorknob made from lollipops. “Pudding!” she said.
Phillip almost fell off his chair.
The End